It's 11:05 in the evening and I can't sleep. I wanted to burst in tears but I can't. Maybe because I've forgotten to, or maybe because I've forbidden myself to exhibit how fragile I am a long time ago. I just feel like crap right now. It's so hard to pretend that your happy when you feel that you're being shredded in to pieces.
I feel stuck in desolation. It's like my feet are glued to the ground while I watch people go on with their lives. I even barely feel alive right now. I know it is inappropriate to feel this way because I've got so much to be thankful for but I just can't help but wish I could easily make myself believe that things are going to end up well. I wanted to lie down and rest but closing my eyes and drifting to the dimension where darkness is the only visible thing just reverberates all the frustrations I had in life. It baffles me how a single incident can have so much impact on me. As much as I want to make the time stop and hibernate for a while, I can't because life goes on, so must I.
